Loss of interest must not win

I am losing interest in school again its happened before and I took a four year break, I cant let that happen. Yeah I dont know at all what I would like to do with the rest of my life but I dont want to be a quiter. I dont know what my problem is I mean there are plenty of things I can blame it on, but their mostlty bullshit! Well I guess I just have to make myself press on, u ntil next time......

Attack of the bird

I was driving to work the other day, on a major street, minding my own business when I was atacked by a bird. The bird nosedived straight into my window, which was only rolled less than half way down, from there it flew into the side of my head and fluttered about in my hair just for a few seconds i'm sure but it felt much longer. The bird then flew to the other side of my van and proceded to shit all over the material on my van's door. Through all of this I am still trying to pay attention to the road and somehow manage to use my blinker to pull over and try to get th bird out. I went around to the back and lifted the back door up and from the out side i'm sure I looked like a crazy person for screaming and cussing at the bird to get out of my van. It worked, he flew right out. Exciting dont you think?

I am pretty lucky I have a lot of great people in my life, but there's this one person who just brings me down, I have more anger for them that I thought I had inside me. I guess in a way i'm lucky because it's just one, unfortunetly I have to see them on a daily basis, and they afect me, I mean so much that i'm writting about them. I am going to a seminar in about a month and the shamen that speaks is all about not letting the negative in, i'm just hoping that it helps. I'm going to get off that mini rampge and talk about the weather.....

It is absolutely gorgous out, it's seventy and the sun is shinning. I could eat this weather up. Is that possible? I guess we do everytime we breathe but I want that satisfied, I just ate perfect weather feeling. I have to go outside and enjoy, so that's all for now........

To bitch for a moment

First off does any every feel like cattle? I do, every time i'm in the store, at a bar, at a concert, the favorite neighborhood Mexican resturaunt, and well almost anywhere. Sometimes it hits really strong at Target, i'm not sure why but the feeling of cattle comes to mind everytime I go there, yet I still go. I mean I know we all need to go to the store for our basic needs but the feeeling is still there. For someone that likes to shop (me) I have an outlook on shopping of someone who hates it. Maybe thats why i'm never satisfied when I get home, I think I replace finding real meaning of life with trivial things such as shopping.

Another thing that bothers me is gossip. Just about everyone I know does it, i'm included in this, when I sit back and listen to it I just think, is this what life is all about? A bunch of bullshit, trvial gossiping. I really think it is a mechanism we all use to fill in the blanks of real conversation, and there are a lot of blanks. No one has anything real to say, again myself included. When theres nothing to say, instead of talking about what this person did or what that person should do maybe we should just be quiet and reflect on our own lives. After saying all this i'll probably go to work where the gossiping is the worst and either sit back and listen or participate. Because really what else is there......